مجرد فضفضة

اكتئاب .. اكتئاب..اكتئاب
الصبح و الظهر والليل تقريباً مبقاش ورايا غيره
تقدر تقول كده إنه أصبح مهنتى الصيفية الدائمة
أجازة الصيف عبارة عن شهرين عذاب وملل ووحدة
كل يوم زى اللى قبله زى اللى بعده نفسى حاجة تحصل
أى حاجة على سبيل التغيير
بكلم أصحابى ع التليفون ولو .. مش زى ما اقعد معاهم
قلت اعمل مدونة يمكن تكسر الملل
مفيييييييييييييييييييييييييش فايدة
قلت أرسم لقيت نفسى بفتكر مريم وأيام ورشة الرسم
عارفيين زى ما أكون بدخل فى حالة بيات صيفى
أكل ونوم وبس
نفسى أسترد حياتى بأى طريقة مش قادرة أستنى
4 أسابيع تانى
الليل والنهار ميفرقوش كتير عندى
ده حتى الواحد بقى يتفرج ع أفلام الرعب و مصاصين الدماء
كأن التلفزيون مصمم أنه يزود أكتئابى
إحساس ان الواحد فاضى بعد ما كان مش عارف يعمل إيه ولا إيه
إحساس غبى إنك جسد بلا روح
إن إنت فاضى من جوه ومن بره
وإنك ممكن يجيلك تخلف من كتر عدم التفكير و القعده
أسفة إن عكرت مزاجكم ..ع الأقل لقيت حاجة أعملها
أفضفض

JUST SOME THOUGHTS..

It’s the wish of every one(to love& be loved) but when you feel it you won’t know when or where or why this big mass of feelings created inside you??
After you were running all your boring life searching for the one that you aren’t afraid of being yourself with him whatever you are he still mad about you, the one who accept you with your bad and good things , the one that understand what you want to say even before you say it,the one the whisper in your ears with your favorite song in your bad times, the one that welcomes you when you have no where to go and all ways are closed in front of you, the one that you know if you lose the all world you will never lose him....
When you found him and finally stop running then you start to be afraid ,when you reach something you will have some thing to lose in your fight with life ,all you can do is hoping that you never lose this person and nothing in your hands.
You can live with out finding this one,but you can’t continue if you found him and let him go,you can’t continue if you found him and he died you will always blame your self for not founding him earlier..
So any way,if you reach the one or not it’s the same for me.. you’d better ask your self is it deserve to search?????????????????????????????????

congratulation...

ألف مبروك لصديقتي المفضلة :مريم محمد عبد العظيم

لحصولها على امتياز السنه دى وعقبال ما تكون معيدة إن شاء الله

ربنا ستر

أول مرة فى حياتى أكون مستنية نتيجتى كده..حتى الثانوية العامة مقلقتش فيها القلق ده كله..نبدأ الحكاية من الأول

السنة اللى فاتت كنت طالبة عادية جدا جدا بمعنى من السكن للكلية ومن الكلية للسكن مفيش أى حاجة تانية وياريت كنت بذاكر بل العكس الملل اللى كان عندى أدى إلى إكتئاب مزمن من الكلية و النتيجة طبعا فشل دراسى ملوش حل أدى ان انا جبت جيد بالعافية؟؟؟؟؟؟
فى الصيف قررت أنى ادخل مجال الأنشطة بالكلية مادام سبب فشلى الدراسى هو الممل..
السنة دى تقريبا دخلت فى كل نشاط فى الكلية ممكن اشترك فيه من أسرة مشروع دكتور لمعارض ومعسكر جوالة وحفلات الكلية..إلخ
المهم أنى أنا كان لازم مع أخر شهر أقف وقفة مع نفسى ما انا عملت كل اللى نفسى فيه و قضيت على الممل المزعوم اللى كان عندى والحمد لله المفروض بقى إن أنجح السنة دى بتقدير كويس على الأقل عشان شكلى قدام والدى!!! المهم ربنا سترها بعد حبسة أيام المكتبة بالساعات والسهر للفجر وعديت بجيد برضه بس بفرق 10% عن السنة اللى فاتت....

كذبوا فقالوا reality tv...???

what reality?our reality or their reality....
every time i saw these programs i'm just surprised and ask my self ...when these guys and girles became the examples of our reality.
honestly i just saw 2 of them:

1-Star Academy: i wouldn't say that i hated it completely,some of them have avery good voice and realy talented,others have nothing to give ..not mention the way the live to gether and the funny love stories between them..

2-The Perfect Bride: i just felt insulted when i first saw it..how come that girles offer themselves to guys!!!!!!!!what happened!!!!why they just limit their options in few guys that they must choose one of them.....where is their pride??

It isn't the fault of youth only but also their parents that allow them to live like that and to act like that ... why they didn't just teach them the principles that their parents teached them.... i've nothing to say but thinking about what is hidden for us in the future.....

smile

smile to the world.. remove your tears
remember love.. forget about fears
think of what you will do through out the years
there isn't abetter person than the one who cheers
believe in god and don't ask why??
some times we laugh.. sometimes we cry
don't ever be broken,don't ever be shy
when ever you fail..you have always got to try
so fight for your life until you say goodbye

face your fears

Every one of us has his own fears that he hide from it and when he face it he just run away. we need to face our fears and to share it with others.. you don't have to be shy.try to face it and to solve it by yourself...for me I was afraid of failing in my work, so I worked harder and harder so as not to be a loser... until I get tired I couldn't keep that hard working any more.. I began to relies that we can't win all the time and it's ok to lose some times..it's the life..so I'm not that person that care just about winning..but I became a person that care about how my work will make me happy and make others happy too.. it may be not perfect but I love it any way..facing my fears made me release that there is no where to hide it, it will keep growing inside you till it finally become seen to every one.

little dreams..

may be it's little but it's my own dreams... not just to get out of school,work,get married and have kids... of course not.. this is the dreams of anormal teenager not me... i dream of getting my PHD from out side the countries.. i want it to be in DNA i think it will be avery rich field for me to study... i dream of making adifferent in this world not just live and die... i dream of travelling all over the world to see new people to learn new skills...this is my little dreams how about your dreams is it normal ones or.....???

love it or leave it

this is the first thing i learned from working with my group(doc project) and i think this the word that made me value my life in new rules... you must love the thing that you are doing or you will never enjoy it or even do it right... this how i do my work and how you will do yours.